Tears
by TraceAce
Summary: Spike remembers the last few days Molly and he had...song fic to "Tears" by Rufio


**"Tears"**

by

_TraceAce_

**A/N:** Very angst-ridden story. Spike/Molly-ism. Italics are memories that Spike has, bolded are lyrics, and stuff with nothing done to them is Molly. You'll figure it out. LOL.

**Disclaimer:** I own no one in this fic. They're owned by WWE and stuff. The song is "Tears" by Rufio. Copyright to them also.

 ****

** /I sit and hear you sleep,**

**I don't want to go...**

**You're there beside me, **

**But you're so far away. **

**I talk to you, **

**While you're asleep. **

**You can't hear a word, **

**You can hear everything...\**

          _She sat curled into her pillow, quietly sleeping, quietly dreaming. Her blond curls unfurled downward, half covering her usual fair complexion. And he sat, watching her sleep on without a care, her chest rising and falling in time with her soft, labored breathing. He just wanted to reach out and touch her, but dared not – he didn't want to wake her up. Didn't want her to go back to how she acted now in the wake hours. It seemed the Molly he once knew only lived now in the late nights, where he would sit up and watch her peacefully sleep as life passed her._

_          And every night since it started, since Hurricane came into the picture, he would do the same thing. Sit and watch her. Act as though she still loved him, even though he knew he didn't. The mere fact alone killed him inside. Sometimes he told her that, telling her how much he loved her and how he wished she loved him back. Sometimes he would recount with her what they had been so far, good and bad. And he would smile and act as though she was talking back and agreeing. But in the end, he would slip under the covers next to what would be no different then a cold, lifeless body. No matter how long he spoke to her, she would still be asleep, and he would still end up lying down and facing reality._

_          She sometimes moved a little, and he always half-hoped she would spring up and say she was sorry and that she did love him, and that he had no reason to worry. But she never did. And if she did hear him, she wasn't responding. Even with that fact in mind, Spike hoped, for no reason at all, that she did understand what he was saying. So she could know just how it was eating him up inside. So she could know that he loved her more the life itself._

_          And then morning came and they fought, and he would end up alone in their room, feeling as though all that happened between them were just his fault. His fault and never hers._

**/Tears are feelings we cant say, **

**Tears mean that you care, **

**Tears are mixed emotions, **

**Tears are more than tears...**

**The pouring rain, **

**From my eyes,**

**Means to much, **

**To keep inside…\**

_          He didn't know what to do anymore. Didn't know how to get through to her. She acted like she hated him…he didn't know why. She made up heartbreaking lies to make him look like the bad guy. Always the bad guy; always cold and callous. What had he done to deserve this? Say he didn't like Hurricane? Be a bit alarmed when he finds her snuggling up to someone else? Spike may not have been in a lot of relationships, but he knew that doing things like that so brazenly was wrong._

_          And he would get so frustrated. He fought tears back so many times while it was happening. He thought she loved him. She had said so. He was so happy at that moment. How did it turn into something so hurtful? How did she turn into this, and why? He wanted to put blame on Hurricane, because he was the one who started it. But it wasn't his fault. It wasn't. She had her own mind. She had a choice. And so did he. And he chose to sit and fight back those tears and hope that she'd change. She's go back to the Molly Holly that he loved so much. To wake up and find out it was all a terrible dream and she was curled up against him instead of treating the middle of the bed their shared sometimes had a brick wall there._

_          But she didn't change. And it wasn't a dream. It just got worse. She didn't even come home one night. And he sat in bed alone that time, not even having a sleeping form to talk to…and he still put it up with it, because he loved Molly and hoped she would too after she got over whatever she was doing. Maybe it was a phase. Maybe it was a challenge; he had heard people talking about them in relationships. All he had to do was believe in true love, because true love always came through in the end._

_          She was kidnapped by Hurricane publicly a few nights afterward. They broke up a couple nights after._

**/I sit and watch you leave, **

**My life forever.**

**I know you'll be gone so long... **

**My last words are nothing,**

**And I tell you I care,**

**And nothing more.**

**I cant say how I feel, **

**So I cry.\**

          _She didn't even look like she cared. She just came in and didn't even say hello. He was so worried, thinking Hurricane was hurting her…and she just looked at him like she never even met him before. She told him that it was over, and continued on her way. The news just about broke his heart into pieces, and he fought tears again. He wanted answers, and she didn't give them. She just told him that she didn't like him, or love him, anymore. She said that it was nice, but she was moving on. She didn't even act like any of the stuff she was saying was important, even though with each sentence Spike looked more and more crestfallen and upset._

_          When he demanded an answer, anything to explain why, she looked him straight in the eye; she started accusing him of not loving her anyway. That he didn't care about her. That he wasn't good enough for her anymore. And with those words, she turned and gathered her things and walked out of his life._

_          And he just stood there, staring at the empty doorway. No words came to his lips, and even if they did he probably wouldn't have said them. Why should he egg her on, to let her keep acting like what happened between them hadn't made her happy? He finally recovered from the horrible shock and shut the door and ended their relationship forever._

**/Tears are feelings we cant say, **

**Tears mean that you care,**

**Tears are mixed emotions,**

**Tears are more than tears...\**

          _He blamed himself. She didn't think he cared, that was why. She said it herself. So that automatically made it his fault. Maybe if he did something different, she wouldn't have felt that way. And he wouldn't face nights alone. And he wouldn't have to watch her interact with Hurricane, like he wasn't there to see. It was his fault that he lost her. It was an awful fact to see. He didn't know what he did that set her off, but he did it._

_          He just wanted to touch her. He just wanted to be by her. He wanted her to look at him with her big bright eyes and giggle and say that he was the only one. And more and more they drifted apart, him barely even seeing her anymore. When he did, she acted like she didn't see him and walk on by. So he decided not to even bother, and let her live her life since it obviously wouldn't dare let in him. He was wiped off her memory as if he never existed. It hurt, but he respected it because he loved her. He wanted her to be happy. If being happy meant her pretending he didn't exist, so be it. Slowly he tried to forget her. Slowly he tried to be happy again. Slowly he began to forgive her and himself too._

_          But he felt so empty without her._

**/It's the light, **

**Behind the shadow. **

**That sacred face, **

**Behind the mask...\**

          Molly sighed, relaxing after a horrible experience with commentating with King. She felt like crying. How could they keep being so mean to her? She was only trying to be strong. She tried being a good girl, and all it got her was pain. Hurricane…he had said he would send people after to Spike…

          What else could she do?

          It was the worst decision she had to make. She alienated herself from him, and he was always confused about it, but she couldn't tell him. She couldn't bare to tell him. She would rather have him think she was a bitch, then anything else. She couldn't even look at him now…how could she? He obviously didn't care anymore; he got over it. She never did, though. She wished with all her heart that she could just run up and apologize to him for all that happened.

          But she didn't. She couldn't. Not that he would forgive her. She had a new personality, or at least acted like she did. Crash told her the only way she'd get respected was to act like she meant to fight.

          But, it was funny. She had more respect from just Spike back when she was good then she ever had now.

          She missed having someone tell her that she was beautiful and loved, even though he could only manage it when he thought she was asleep. She missed how he treated her, and she missed the feeling of love that she got from him.

          She had to throw it all away and he would never know why.


End file.
